However, the shrewd eye observer will notice that behind all the joyous celebration lies an intricate balancing act. All the family members want to appear to be doing well while, as the chinese saying goes, each family holds a difficult to read sutra. For the most part, I have learnt over the years to stand from afar and observe these going-ons with amusement or if not, a detached disinterest. Such as when one auntie complains how they were ill-treated by their daughter-in-law or when the daughter of the grandmother acts the dutiful daughter. These scenes no longer moved me as much.
Having said that, again however, sometimes I still get affected when the incidents happen too close to home. Such as how the married sibling hinting openly that they would like lunch to be started earlier. Now my parents are old and as they grow older, they see the sibling lesser and lesser due to the fact that the sibling is not staying with us and that the in-law does not like to come back to visit. I guess as with all of us, the longing to see our own flesh and blood gets more obvious with age. Thus, of course they will try harder to please the sibling to have a chance that they will come home. To tell them that it's too early might be risking them not coming home. Despite this joyous season, I feel sad when I know for the most part, we are not as closely knit a family as we hope to be or show to be. It's all about intricately balancing the wants and the needs of every family member and sometimes it gets tiring when one or another does not do his/her part.
But of course, every family has their difficult to read sutra. Mine would not be harder than others. I hope it gets easier. I was speaking to my better half, yes I am surprisingly attached for over a year now, on whether I should always let things affect me. While she gave the PC answer which is both yes and no, in truth the answer is most of time a yes and no answer. Maybe in that sense I lack character but I think that's how I was brought up. Same goes for how my siblings act, it's how they were brought up so perhaps it is a part of my parents doing.
In any case, I am going all over the shop with this. During this festive season, let me wish everyone a Happy Lunar Year.
Good night Singapore.
