Merry X'mas

For once, I had a wonderful festive season with someone I adore. It was a simple dinner at an relatively "ulu" (Singaporean slang for less known) place. The food was really quite average but nowadays I feel that I am beginning to enjoy the laidback feeling more and more. After which we went for a nice house party, followed by 2nd and 3rd round drinks with friends.

Next up will be my trip to Korea with momsie. Looking forward to my virgin experience with skiing. Hope it's fun and I don't freeze my butt off. Good Day Singapore.

Holidays

A string of holidays are coming up and one just can't help but feel abit excited. Though the prospect of having to work over the festives dampens it slightly.

Currently blogging through my office email. Kind of user friendly. The day's about to end and I can't wait to Mambo, a Singaporean phenomenon.

Good evening Singapore.

Moved...

Moved here. Hello Singapore.

Passing

I cried. I cannot remember ever crying for a girl in the past. Maybe it's the alcohol. Maybe I just needed an outlet.

I still don't understand how something can change so drastically over a short period of time. We were happily having dim sum in the afternoon and come nightfall, she tells me that she cannot feel my love for her. I don't understand how having spent almost everyday together, having talked to her everyday when I was overseas, having looked and kissed her with love every time showed that I didn't love her.

This had come so sudden that I don't know what to think. Many thoughts have flowed through my mind since. Perhaps she didn't really love me as much. Perhaps I was just there as a rebound. Perhaps having gone out with other people, she feels she still want to consider her other options. Maybe I shouldn't think so much.

I just learnt that now she's gone to KL. Before this happened, I didn't mind her going at all. Now, I think of how she might be going back to him. It's silly really. Maybe I shouldn't think so much.

Good night Singapore.

Vesak Day and Karma

It is the eve of Vesak Day. Or rather it WAS the eve of Vesak Day. The celebration of Vesak Day is to commemorate the birth, enlightenment and attainment of Nirvana for Buddha, specifically the Buddha Sidharta (Wonder if I spelt it right). And as this is a Buddhist festival, inevitably Buddhist teachings such as Karma comes into mind.

Thus, it makes me wonder whether my own Karma has came back to teach me a lesson coincedentally having mentioned Karma in just the last post. I have to say this had been a considerably bad day for me. A chain of events has almost if not totally ruined my mood for the holidays. Now, let me list the bad things that have befallen upon me.

Now, I was to attend a friend's wedding next Friday or at least I thought I was to attend one. This said friend had in earlier months asked me for my mailing address so as to mail me the wedding invite. As it was really close to the wedding date and I have not heard from her, I decided to give her a call to ask whether she has mailed it out. When I spoke to her imagine my surprise when she said that she found out she didn't have enough places and said sorry for not being able to invite me. What made me really annoyed and disappointed was not the fact that she couldn't invite me due to the lack of space but rather that she had not bothered to call me up and inform me of it. I mean if you had asked for my mailing address, I would at least expect the decency to call me and let me know if you decided to change your mind and not invite me. I am a person who gets very affected by sincerity of my friends and from this incident alone I realized that this is not a friend that is worth treasuring.

Next comes the partying or intention to party. Considering this was the eve and all, I was all psyched up to party the night away. First up I joined some friends at a Thai Disco at Golden Mile. While it was interesting initially, I soon got bored cause there's no girls at our group and the place was populated by rather old or bengish crowd. So I decided to head down to Zouk for the Mambo night since it's a Wednesday. Been ages since I last went and when I almost reached the whole road was stop go traffic cause of the huge crowd. Did everyone just woke up and decided to go Mambo cause there were like about 100-200 people hanging outside the god damned place. Straight away I knew it was a lost cause and so decided to find my other friends at some pub in Boat Quay. Now having arrived at BQ, I called my friends and they told me they've left for St James!! How bad can this night get! I finally decided that this is probably some way of telling me I should go back home and tonight's not the night for partying. So heeding the divine intervention, I decided to head home early on the eve of a public holiday. How rare is that but my troubles was not about to end for this my bad day.

While driving home and almost exiting the expressway way (it was like only 200-300 metres from the god damned exit!) I was stopped by the TP for speeding! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! In my entire life of driving in Singapore, this was the first traffic ticket I've received! Now of course I had parking tickets before but this was the first traffic offense. On top of that, I was not even high and I took care to look around for TPs too. This time they seem to turn out from nowhere. That's $150 plus 6 fucking demerit points! ARGHHH…. I know I am not an angel and most of the time flaunt the law by speeding. I know it's wrong by having a glass or two and driving. But to be caught while heading home on an early night seems soo……sigh…

Actually now that I am typing this, my mind seemed to have sorted it out. Wouldn't I have been much worst if I was caught drunk and driving home. Or going home late and exceeding the speed limit by more than 25km/hr which I sometimes do to reach home earlier.

A quote from someone I met suddenly comes to my mind. He told me that sometimes when bad things happen, we shouldn't think of it as being unlucky. Instead, we should think that by having bad things happen now, it would mean that better things will come soon. It made sense. Let's hope after today and all that has happened, good things will come to me soon. This has been a long rant and guess it's therapeutic in its own way. Good night Singapore.

Trackback

Whoops, guess it's been ages since I've updated with an entry. As usual, it's night time and a time to reflect on the past months. I've been busy lately with work. The new job's seen me flying around more often than before but all's good as the daily allowance is good money. Especially since I seem to spend more nowadays.

On the relationship front, it's still nadah. I've recently been dating two girls as in putting serious consideration to thinking how to make it work. But somehow things aren't going as good as I hoped. I wonder whether anyone whose gone through life with a reasonable amount of time will experience the same feelings or thoughts as I have. Now this is something that has always been through my mind. How many people out there has the same thoughts and experiences as me. Which is partly the reason why I chose this blog's title. Ok, that's sidetracking. What I wanted to say is that nowadays when I see or encounter certain new events in life, I tend to be able to "predict", some may call it that whilst others may call it "think too much", how certain things will end up. I have to say in both occurences while going out with these two girls, I've seen certain less than ideal circumstances. Of course I've long heard of the saying of thinking less and going with your heart but a leopard can never change its spots. I am a man of pragmatism. I've always went with my mind and that is probably my greatest failing.

So it is now with these two girls. One I seen instability while the other incompatibility. Perhaps I should go back to the safety of my cave and enjoy or rather rot in my freedom. I have no answer as of yet and as usual one can never tell the future. Or perhaps I should hold out for a better fit to come along. Hell knows I've been single for so long does it really matter. In any case, I'll have to wait and see what the future holds for me as usual. Incoherent thoughts as usual.

On other fronts, I am trying to gain back my fitness. I've been trying to run on a regular basis. To think that I used to be so fit and marathons would not be a problem. Now with the growing belly or "wealth" tummy as some would call it, I am loath to see myself turn into a middle age pot bellied Uncle. Though in recent days, that's what my friends have started to call me. Let's hope my discipline kicks in and I'm able to go carry out my plans.

Oh, interestingly over the weekend I went to a kind of SDU event. My friend got the invites and asked me along. This is not something that I usually go to. Nay, this is not something I go to at all. I don't like to subject myself to the desperation of growing old single. And this is exactly what I saw in the event. Desperation? Too strong a word? But that is what I saw. Grown men and women putting in their last ditch effort to know someone who might rescue them from a life of loneliness. Plus the fact that there were alot of misfits in their midst. I didn't want to say it out loud in front of my friend that I think all the people there who went can't make it as I was afraid I'll hurt his feelings should he think that I was refering to him. But those were my thoughts. I know I am biased but I can't help but think these people are odd. Some of them probably have great personalities but I am not about to find out. I am sure karma exist and sometimes I think that my long standing singlehood is probably karma's way of getting back at me for laughing at all of them. Oh well, Karma 1 Me 0 then.

Ok, this is getting abit long. Let's see when's my next entry will be. Good night Singapore.

Travels and Festivities

It's been a long while since I last dusted this blog. Been pretty busy these days and also spending more time out with my buddies. There's been alot of big festivities over the past few months what with X'mas, New Year and the upcoming Lunar New Year. Hrmm…I think I am spending more time living a hopefully interesting life than talking about it. Not that it's really that much more interesting. As with festivities and the upcoming Valentine's day, I've been feeling a bout of loneliness. I've also been drinking more. Spending more time at pubs in Boat Quay, clubs like Zouk, St James etc. I think I am trying to hope that by going out more, I will give myself more opportunities to know more friends and hopefully a potential gf? Deep inside, I guess we know that this is not the right way to go about it but sometimes we tend to deceive ourselves.

On the other point of the entry, I've been travelling more lately. Just came back from Bangkok and will be going to Tokyo for business trip. I kind of like going on biz trips nowadays. Not only do I get to getaway for a while, the allowances are good. It helps me do some savings. I realised that when you earn more, you spend more and I really have to start saving more money for the future. Despite having worked for 8 years, my savings are pathetic. Over the years, the spendings on my car as well as losses in the stock market had pretty much burnt off all my saving. Hopefully within these 2 years, I'll be able to save up more for my goals.

Ok, strangely not really in a deep thoughtful reflective mood to write much. Till the next time then. Good night Singapore.